Joy and Grief

My time spent on blogging has been lacking as of late (yes I know this).  

All of us can easily fall into the mire or busy-ness, and although I can say that

I am very good about taking time for prayer and meditation, my default would be 

to not be writing.

That said, I HAVE been engrossed in a class on grief coaching.  For those who think this 

sounds really weird, you are not wrong.  I mean really who needs a coach for grief.  

And yet, in our culture we are really super bad at grieving.  We have been taught that

instead of walking the journey of grief we are either to stuff it down, or give it all to God

(and while that second one seems nice, God I think has a different plan in how to bring 

us comfort)

Grief is a horrible, sometimes shameful and regularly uncomfortable emotion.  

The sorrow and sadness of grief alert us to the realization that something or someone

of importance is missing, or no longer a part of our lives.  That there was an important 

relationship that helped to mold and shape who we are.  And that was a gift.  So grief 

then, is not something to be hidden, but it is something to process.  It is a path of learning

about how we walk in the world and how we are a part of a larger web.  

And while grief can be exhausting, and painful and frustrating (with how long it 

stays attached to our hearts) the process can also teach us and show us a lot about the joy

in our lives.  While grief and joy do not seem to go hand in hand, they both have 

important roles that teach us about who we are in the world.

If you need/want/wonder about having someone to walk with you in your times of grief, know that you do not have to walk alone. There are therapists and counselors, and mentors and coaches and friends who will walk with you. I would love to help you find a few.

In the meantime, check out this poem by John Rodell

the places in our heart

where the world took bites

out of us

may never fully heal

and will likely become

wide open spaces

~ be careful to not fill them

with just anything or anyone

your wounds aren’t supposed

to become attics for you to hoard

unnecessary junk

these holes in our hearts

are holy sites

and we should treat

them as such

so when visiting your old wounds

make sure to take your shoes off

and turn off your cellphone

sit by candlelight

and watch how the shadows

tell the story how brave you are

~ to survive

(John Roedel)

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