Friday, June 21, 2024

Joy and Grief

My time spent on blogging has been lacking as of late (yes I know this).  All of us can easily fall into the mire or busy-ness, and although I can say that I am very good about taking time for prayer and meditation, my default would be to not be writing.

That said, I HAVE been engrossed in a class on grief coaching.  For those who think this sounds really weird, you are not wrong.  I mean really who needs a coach for grief.  And yet, in our culture we are really super bad at grieving.  We have been taught that instead of walking the journey of grief we are either to stuff it down, or give it all to God (and while that second one seems nice, God I think has a differnt plan in how to bring us comfort)

Grief is a horrible, somtimes shameful and regulalry uncomfrtable emotion.  The sorrow and sadness of grief alert us to the realization that something or someone of importance is missing, or no longer a part of our lives.  That there was an important relationship that helped to mold and shape who we are.  And that was a gift.  So grief then, is not something to be hidden, but it is something to process.  It is a path of learning about how we walk in the world and how we are a part of a larger web.  

And while grief can be exhausting, and painful and frustrating (with how long it stays attached to our hearts) the process can also teach us and show us a lot about the joy in our lives.  While grief and joy do not seem to go hand in hand, they both have important roles that teach us about who we are in the world.

If you need/want/wonder about having someone to walk with you in your times of grief, know that you do not have to walk alone. There are therapists and counselors, and mentors and coaches and friends who will walk with you. I would love to help you find a few.

In the meantime, check out this poem by John Rodell

the places in our heart
where the world took bites
out of us
may never fully heal
and will likely become
wide open spaces
~ be careful to not fill them
with just anything or anyone
your wounds aren’t supposed
to become attics for you to hoard
unnecessary junk
these holes in our hearts
are holy sites
and we should treat
them as such
so when visiting your old wounds
make sure to take your shoes off
and turn off your cellphone
sit by candlelight
and watch how the shadows
tell the story how brave you are
~ to survive
(John Roedel)