Grief and the Holidays

*Disclaimer - Honestly a good deal of this was from ChatGPT - with a few edits of my own...

The holidays can be especially challenging when you are grieving, especially the loss of a loved one. Amid festive cheer and family gatherings, the absence of someone you love can feel overwhelming. If you're struggling with grief during this time, you are not alone. Here are a few gentle strategies to help you navigate the season:

1. Honor Your Grief

It’s okay to not feel joyful. Grief doesn’t disappear just because it’s the holiday season. Allow yourself to feel what you feel—whether it's sadness, anger, or even numbness. Give yourself permission to grieve without pressure to be “happy” or “okay.” Figure out a way to gracefully leave - or let your hosts know that you might need to leave unexpectedly.

2. Adjust Traditions

If old traditions are too painful, it’s okay to change them. Whether it’s skipping certain activities or creating new rituals that feel more comforting, allow yourself to do what feels right for you. Honoring your loved one in your own way can provide solace.

3. Set Boundaries

You don’t have to attend every gathering or event. It’s okay to say no if you need a break or some quiet time. Communicate with loved ones about your needs—whether that’s attending part of a celebration or taking time for yourself.

4. Reach Out for Support

Grief can feel isolating, but sharing it with others can lighten the load. You do not need to walk this journey alone. Whether through a support group, grief coach, friends, or family, leaning on others who understand can offer comfort and reassurance.

5. Practice Self-Care

Grieving takes a physical and emotional toll. Be kind to yourself—eat nourishing meals, get enough rest, and take time to unwind. Simple acts of self-care can help restore your energy and provide a sense of calm during an emotional time.

The holidays may never feel the same after a loss, and that’s okay. Take it one moment at a time, and remember that it's okay to experience both grief and moments of peace. It's also ok to laugh and have fun and enjoy the season - it is not disrespectful enjoy life. Be gentle with yourself and know that grief and healing is a journey.

practice

Practice, practice, practice.  It is one of the most difficult things to do in a culture that draws our attention in a million different directions at one.  It is a practice just to be intentional about getting to our practice.  Yet there are many things we do in life that seem automatic - like eating meals, or taking a shower, or driving to work.  We don't have to think about them anymore because we do them so often.  We have practiced our routine and it has become a way of life.

So how do we be intentional about shifting or changing our practice so that it is functional when there are shifts in the world around us?  

Malcom Gladwell says that - “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good”

We become what we practice.  So what are you becoming?  What do you want to become?  And are you focused on how you are practicing that reality?

My piano teacher when I was a kid regularly reminded me that practice makes habit (only perfect practice makes perfect).  What habits are you building?

If you need some accountability - I am here to help.